I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
