Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
