marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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