I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
