I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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