I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
