I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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