saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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