Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
