just tell him i said nine months
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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