brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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