"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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