you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
