Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
