we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
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