I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
