I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
