You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
