at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
