butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
