Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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