why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize