It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
