it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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