i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She swung at the pinata with crutches
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
