Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
