He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
