hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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