I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
