you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize