Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
