another moral hangover. fuck.
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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