how can u be prego again
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
