her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize