Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
