I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
