he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
