the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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