i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
