woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
