oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize