I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize