Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
