god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
