Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Randomize
