the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
