Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
