now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You brought string cheese to the strip club
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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