we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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