i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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