cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
