Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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