I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
bring money and cleavage
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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