the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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