oh god the rape fog is back!
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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