what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
