Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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