thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
