sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
