My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
