We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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