shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You were trust falling into bushes
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