3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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