I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
