try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
being pregnant is like rehab
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
