Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
