I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
why is half of my head shaved?
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