I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize