you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize