I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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