hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
