there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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