Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize