if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
