dude i'm inner monologue high
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize