You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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