So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
