I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
