his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
