i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
