HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
