he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
