The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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